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Funny Flight

Updated: Jun 20, 2022

I took my first flights in 2 years from the Baltimore Airport to New Orleans and back (after 4 days).

On the return trip, when the doors of the aircraft closed, an announcer said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, you are on a non-stop flight to Hawaiiiiiiiiiii.”

We looked up from our phones to see a young African American Steward with a microphone in his hand.

He then admonished us, “No, no, no no. You can’t pay for a non-stop flight to Baltimore, and expect us to fly you to Hawaii. Buckle up, and we’ll take you to the destination you actually paid for.”

Passengers grew broad grins on their faces.

He continued, “Can you guess what kind of pizza our captain likes?”

A fellow traveler asked “Pepperoni?”

The steward replied, “How can you not know the answer? He likes plane pizza!”

Next question, “What did the bed say when the sheet fell off?”

He was exasperated when there was silence. “It said, Sheeet!”

His last question was, “Why shouldn’t you gamble in the jungle?”

Shaking his head, he said, “It’s full of cheetahs.”

The gentleman kept us in stitches for a significant part of our two and a half hour flight.

I tried to get his attention and buy a beer when he was wheeling his cart down the aisle. He spoke down to me, “See the attendant light button above your head? Next time push that instead of trying to poke me in the eyes.”

When the aircraft landed, and was taxiing down the runway, our steward suggested stretch yoga, “because we were stiffs” in our seats. He stretched his hands up in the air, and many women on the aircraft did the same. Then he bent down and asked everyone to stretch towards the floor. Next he said “Now pick up all the litter you were planning to leave behind.”

The aircraft came to a stop at the gate and the sound system went “Boing!”

”Get out!” he whispered loudly into the microphone. Nobody seemed to mind. In fact, there was laughter before disembarking.

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